"Miss Holly, let's play four square! I get to be in the king square, you have to start in the trash square." - boy, 7
"But I don't want to be trash..."
"Ok. We can call it recycling."
Aug 14, 2012
I've learned that when there are three kids in the house, the scariest sound is silence.
Aug 11, 2012
I think we should all celebrate birthdays like 2 year olds. I've lost count of how many times this little boy has sung Happy Birthday to himself.
July 18, 2012
Was eavesdropping on 8 year olds discussing politics in my backseat during carpool today. Consider the world's problems solved.
July 17, 2012
When the 2 year old wanted to hold the dog's leash this morning, I wasn't too surprised to see the dog take him for a walk instead.
July 14, 2012
That awkward moment when the parents get home and you can't decide whether to greet them at the door or act like you're in the middle of something important when they walk in...
July 13, 2012
So there's now popsicle all over my back seat. But "don't worry" the 8 year olds reassure me, "cause it's sugar-free."
July 12, 2012
"Miss Holly, I better get dinner in the next 5 minutes or you don't want to know what'll happen." - boy, 8
"Actually, I'd really like to see what happens when you don't even get dinner tonight."
"Oh. Ok, well, just whenever it's ready."
"Actually, I'd really like to see what happens when you don't even get dinner tonight."
"Oh. Ok, well, just whenever it's ready."
July 3, 2012
2 year old boy spent the morning gasping in mock surprise at his bedroom every time he opened his door.
June 30, 2012
An 8 year old I watch gave a petition of over 300 signatures to his principal demanding more recess. And got it. I don't know whether to be proud or scared.
June 22, 2012
I'm starting to get worried - this 1 year old's favorite activity is to wipe down his toys.
June 21, 2012
I was playing tag with a little one this morning and surprised him so badly that he got the hiccups. I win.
June 20, 2012
That awkward moment when the exterminator at the door mistakes you for the mom of the kids hanging all over you.
June 14, 2012
Little boy won't take a bite without me turning the spoon into an airplane. What have I done?
June 9, 2012
This dog is not on my hide and seek team... She stands in front of my hiding place and barks till the kids find me.
May 31, 2012
I love that little kids automatically assume when a horn honks, it's solely for their pleasure...not because a driver got annoyed.
May 30, 2012
"Miss Holly! Miss Holly, the boys are fighting! I tried to break it up by asking them how I look but it didn't work!" - girl, 4, in full princess regalia (including plastic heels and tiara)
May 23, 2012
That awkward moment when you get so excited about the fire truck out the window...then you realize you're alone in your car and there's no 2 year old to point it out to.
May 21, 2012
Lesson learned this morning: No matter how many times a toddler screams, "Dance!" at the dog, he's just not gonna join our dance party.
May 17, 2012
"Miss Holly, why aren't you married?" - girl, 4
"Cause I haven't found anyone I want to marry yet."
"O, Miss Holly. You're so silly."
"Cause I haven't found anyone I want to marry yet."
"O, Miss Holly. You're so silly."
May 11, 2012
This morning I made the mistake of leaving the dog at home when we went on our walk. The toddler screamed apologies to the barking dog all the way down the driveway.
May 2, 2012
Nothing beats the look of disgust on a toddler's face when he realizes the cookie he just bit into...is plastic.
May 1, 2012
"But do they let you bring baseball cards?" - an 8 year old's biggest apprehension about going to college
April 26, 2012
According to my 5 year old doctor, the cough has spread to my leg. Could be fatal. She's working on a cure.
April 25, 2012
Made cookies with 2 kids last night. I think more dough ended up in their hair than on the cookie sheet.
April 23, 2012
This morning, a little boy standing on a blanket reached down and yanked it out from under himself, falling on his back. I made sure he was ok before I died laughing.
April 22, 2012
Worst Game Ever Invented: "Miss Holly, guess which sports team I'm thinking of. No hints, just guess!" - every little boy ever
April 18, 2012
"Tonight I'm going to be the queen of the fairies! And the princess. And the bride." - girl, 4
April 14, 2012
Putting this toddler's cup together feels like I'm assembling an Ikea desk. What happened to sippy cups?
April 13, 2012
A girl suggested I get a dog so I can have a little taste of parenting. I refrained from comment.
April 12, 2012
Giving a bag of teddy grahams to a group of toddlers is a good way to start Hunger Games Jr.
April 2, 2012
Spent most of the night chasing down and tickling 5 children who thought it'd be funny to run around yelling "Holly-want-a-cracker!"
April Fools 2012
Only in 2nd grade can April 1st last a month. You have early April Fools, April 1st, and then you get 2 weeks of late April Fools.
Mar 30, 2012
One of those days when the toddler wants to ride a horse and the dog just won't play along.
Mar 28, 2012
For an 8 year old boy, everything is categorized into what he's already climbed and what he has yet to climb.
Mar 22, 2012
"You know when you get a song stuck in your head? That's radio waves. They were going to a radio but they got stuck in your head first." - boy, 8
Mar 21, 2012
Children can be persuaded to do almost anything if it's made into a game. Even put on sunscreen.
Mar 20, 2012
Toddler panicked this morning when he couldn't find his belly button hidden by his onesie.
Mar 18, 2012
"I think a girl in the choir is in love with me, she was staring at me all through mass. And they're in high school!" - boy, 8
Mar 11, 2012
Two year old handing over plastic pancakes he just "cooked" for me... "Don't eat them; they're not real. It's just pretend."
Mar 8, 2012
Two little girls last night wanted to know what "going into labor" means. I told them to ask Mommy.
Mar 6, 2012
"So. We just gonna stick me in front of the TV now?" - girl, 4, hand on hip. An interesting way of asking to watch Dora...
Feb 27, 2012
Six year old sticking his stomach out as far as he can... "Does this make me look fat?" Why, yes. Yes it does.
Feb 25, 2012
Lesson learned: Taking both a toddler and a dog for a walk only ends in the nanny tangled in the leash.
Feb 18, 2012
Ok, it's fairly normal to accidentally call a kid by their sibling's name. But when you start calling them by the name of kids in other families, you know you have a problem.
Feb 17, 2012
On the ride home from school yesterday, my 8 year old friend and I discussed his groundbreaking theories on self-driving cars, economics, and song lyrics.
Feb 16, 2012
The diagnosis of our 4 year old doctor in residence after checking her brother's heart - "Yeah, he doesn't have a heartbeat. I think he might be dead."
Valentines Day 2012
My valentine this year? A 6 year old with a gap where his two front teeth should be. And I have the red heart sticker on my cheek to prove it.
Feb 13, 2012
It's so cute and all when little ones start wanting to feed themselves; it just makes lunch about 5 times longer.
Feb 10, 2012
Ok little boy, let's get this straight. Yes, I do take care of kids. But that does not mean I'm a nun.
Feb 9, 2012
So apparently it's legal to record your nanny without telling them. This opens up so many opportunities to scare the pants off the parents who decided to hide it from me.
Feb 6, 2012
A little 3 year old tried to postpone bedtime tonight with, "But I wanna read my Bible..." Nice try.
Feb 2, 2012
Almost passed out last night after blowing up an entire inflatable "teacher's chair" for pretend-school.
Jan 29, 2012
That creepy moment when the kids are in bed and one of their toys starts giggling in the next room. And you can't figure out which one it is.
Jan 28, 2012
Little boy went out with his parents this morning while I stayed behind with his sister... He refused to take any of his toys with him to the zoo, "so the monkeys won't get them."
Jan 24, 2012
Apparently "but he stepped on my foot!" is supposed to justify tackling your own teammate to the ground during church basketball practice.
Jan 21, 2012
A 2 year old last night tried to convince me that she wasn't ticklish. It took all of three seconds to debunk that claim.
Jan 20, 2012
"So guess what?! I get to spend the night in two really cool places next week! Sea world and heaven!" - girl, 4
Jan 19, 2012
I'm curious. How do you get, "Let's have a screaming contest!" from "Guys, let's keep the noise down."
Jan 17, 2012
I can't ever tell if this toddler is excited or upset - his laughing and crying sound exactly the same.
Jan 16, 2012
This little boy is so used to his dog's reaction to strangers that when cars drive past, he barks and waves.
Jan 12, 2012
Well this is new - a two year old who reprimands himself. This morning he stopped mid-scream, put a finger to his lips, and said, "Shh. Baby sleeping."
Jan 11, 2012
"Look at all this money I have! You know what I'm gonna do with it?! I'm gonna buy cookies and peanut butter. And chocolate syrup. And kale." - boy, 5
Jan 9, 2012
Best part of my day - spinning a toddler around the room then setting him down to watch him dizzily stumble into walls before collapsing into giggles on the floor.
Jan 6, 2012
Playing go fish with two little girls using sea creature cards, I told the older sister "Go fish! Draw a sea turtle!" When she failed to draw the sea turtle card, the younger sister disappeared only to reappear two minutes later with a picture of a sea turtle that she'd drawn. "Here sissy, I drew a turtle for you."
Jan 4, 2012
In the spirit of the renovations going on in her house, a two year old last night decided to measure her room. I held the tape measure, she ran the width of her room, looked at the zero-end of the tape and with a sigh went, "14 years."
Jan 1, 2012
There's nothing like a box big enough to fit into to make kids forget the expensive toy that arrived in it.
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